Some souls come into our lives for a brief moment to impact us for an entire lifetime. For me, that is my baby Kamden. Kamden was born May 12, 2015 and I was planning on raising him as a single parent considering his father and I parted ways in the beginning of the pregnancy. The day Kamden was born, I fell head over heels in love with this beautiful being. Not only was he stunning but his energy radiated an entire room. He was just so special in his own unique way. But tragedy hit when 3 days went by and noticed he hadn’t cried, didn’t open his eyes and he was spitting up a lot of foam. He was then rushed to the NICU and we discovered he was literally having 96 seizures per minute. My life as a mommy flashed before me in a Millisecond. I knew I had to put on my mommy emergency hat on and do all that I could to take care of my sick newborn baby. The doctors ran every single test they possibly could for 3 weeks straight.

It wasn’t until after 3 weeks that the genetics specialist started crying to me to tell me his diagnosis. Kamden was diagnosed with a very rare fatal disease called Zellweger’s Syndrome. A rare disease with no cure because of its small percentage on how many people it affects. His prognosis was to live for 3 months at most! At that moment I knew I was facing the most trying time of my entire life. How was I going to make the best of this situation? I took Kamden home with me and gave him all of the love in my heart and soul. He ended up beating his prognosis and instead of living for 3 months, he lived for a full 9 months! In this very brief time, life felt like it had no time. I was simply holding on to every single second and millisecond with my little King, Kamden

I still remember when he did finally open his eyes for the first time on his 9th day of being alive, I felt like he knew my soul from ancient times with the way he stared right into the depths of my soul. I still remember the first time he cried on his 13th day, he was still in the NICU and I was holding him. But the nurse said it was time to put him back in the incubator. As she reached to grab him, he wailed with a power and force I never imagined to have come from him. I still remember to dialogue we would engage in together that consisted of him saying “hmm,” and then me saying “hmm,” and him saying “hmm,” and we just did this back and forth for about 30 minutes a day. Where did he find the strength to communicate with my like this? I have no idea. But strength is one gift Kamden came here to bring me. He was such a strong soul that brought out the most intense amounts of strength within me. I never knew I could possess so much inner strength. It was unbelievable.

I woke up every day determined to keep fighting. The way my baby kept on fighting on. I was determined to be the very best mommy I could be to my baby and give him all of my love- and I did the damn thing! This experience not only lasted a whole lifetime, but it allowed me to see myself for who I really am. A strong beacon of light that can face anything with the power that resides in my soul. It is the same power that resides within everyone’s soul. Through Kamden, I was meeting myself for the first time ever.

Experiencing life with Kamden has taught me the courage to real-eyes that I am a Champion. That I can overcome anything I put my mind to and there is nothing to fear and that we all truly possess the strength greater than that of a lion if we look deep within. It’s about the fight and sometimes the fight after the fight where we develop the most courage out of the experience of it all. It’s being able to wake up everyday and move forward even when everything in you tells you you can’t. You shut that voice up and trample on it like the champion fighter that you truly are. For nothing can bring you down unless you allow it to. Your life is yours to perceive however you choose. It is yours to create and make it the best for yourself and others around you. Who and what do you owe your life to? You owe it to your mother fucking self. You are a rockstar! You are the shit! You are strong as fuck! And nothing can ever hold you back but yourself. Get out of your own way and live the life of the Champion that your soul truly is.

xoxo

VanessaSoul